Recently, I was reminded rather forcefully about why I miss Max so much and I had to tell you about it. A member of my family is going through a rough time right now and I’m trying very hard to be supportive. Someone else asked me this question, or more specifically to enumerate what I bring to our relationship. My internal reaction was one of shock, particularly since I’m rather close to the asker. Later on, I got curious about my own thinking and actions. Do I believe I am enough? Do I act that way?
Having a physical disability isn’t easy. Opportunities can be limited, especially for those of us trying hard to contribute our gifts, or to simply earn a ‘seat at the table’ in order to provide for our families and plan for the future. Despite these trying realities, what we think about ourselves is critically important.
For me, that’s where Max was most valuable. He looked at me like I could do anything and I realize now that I believed him. I was enough just as I am.
Perhaps that changed after he died. I don’t know and it is something I have to ask myself. All I do know for sure is that I no longer have Max’ support now that he is gone. I’d like to think that I’m enough. That just by being the supportive person I am, I contribute mightily to any relationship.
For me, the answer to this question is I bring myself to the relationship. Max may not be here anymore, but what he taught me when alive still holds true. I am enough, just as I am. I can do anything I want to do.
If you are struggling with the same kind of issues or different ones entirely, it will be my honor to support you. Just go to the Contact link and send me an email.